Category Archive: sharing

When I think of Christmas, I usually think of giving. I’m normally a very generous person, which can create inequities when some people in the past have tried to get as much out of me as they can. I’m also a very patient person, but eventually those types of people will ultimately get shut out of my life.

During the years of eldercare, my entire life was consumed of giving, whether gifts or of my own time and energy. As a result of many years of this, I somehow became ridiculously accustomed to being the one always giving, giving, giving. I decided it is time for me to receive, too!

For 2008, my main personal project was to let go of personal attachments, specifically in giving my identity and importance to anyone other than myself (without ego) and God. I had done this many years ago when I was gravely stricken with health problems and it helped tremendously. After all, when you lose your health, you lose or have the capacity to lose everything in the material realm. When that happens, and it did happen to me, all you have is yourself and your relationship to God. Okay, so I might have also added shoes to my current attachments, but I am a girl!

I remember my mother used to remind me that I should not be so adverse to receiving, and that by not letting in a space for receiving, one denies others the ability to be grateful, grace filled and generous in kind. Well mom, something must have finally sunk in! Thursday when I came home, I saw that there was a small pile of boxes and two of them were for me. One of them was a HUGE box from Chef’s Catalog. I was so confused because I had ordered gifts from them to ship out to others. The first thought I had was, “I know I’m tired, but am I so tired that I don’t remember something on backorder?!!? Do I have anything with them on backorder??? What planet am I on???

Opening the box answered the question. Inside was this lovely set of seven nestled ceramic kitchen bowls. Anyone that bakes and cooks a lot knows that having bowls like this makes your cooking more organized.

What great timing, since I ordered a new stand mixer to replace my long dead one. I’ve had two stand mixers in the past, both of which were “hand me downs.” During the winter, I enjoy filling my living space with the smell of home made goodies. Thank you John and Nancy for making this even easier!!

My preference is to not open Christmas gifts until Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, so I have my gifts under my Christmas tree, which this year is a pretty pink tree with pretty pink lights. My need to have a visual reminder that there are gifts for me is the outcome of having had some really bleak days both as a child, when we had very little money even for food, or as an adult, when I suffered extreme financial hardship and could not even afford to buy stamps to mail Christmas cards (or the cards themselves, for that matter!)

I decided to break from tradition this year! Having the surprise package was fun to open, since normally I would have waited. Apparently John and Nancy were not the only ones to help move me out of my tendency to wait. Santa Claus or the UPS guy left me a package from Amazon. This of course confused me again, since I had ordered items from Amazon for gifts and I was fairly certain that everything with Amazon was done with.

I opened the box, peered inside and saw Rick Bayless looking back at me.

Now Mr. Bayless is welcome into my abode at any time, since I have his DVD’s and two of his other cook books. Since I did not remember ordering this cookbook, (tambien, tengo confundido!) my first thoughts were, “Huh?” and “Was this on backorder???” Fortunately Amazon included a packing slip, and this was a gift from my grad school friend Sean. What an awesome gift!! Sean is one of the few true gentlemen around, who is gracious and despite driving me all over the place during our outings, has never accepted gas money. Thank you Sean! And One Time, yes, he also has a gun.

And while the Cosmic seems to be encouraging my need to receive this year, I had to laugh when another mystery package arrived from Corus Bank. It was See’s Candies, which always makes me think of my Los Angeles relatives.

Every year I try to give something to at least one of the Salvation Army Bell Ringers, and I don’t mean $1. I do this because I know that they do good work and truly do help those who are in need, and with them, the population that would normally fall between the cracks instead falls into their open hands which provide shelter and assistance. This year I put more than my usual donation in the bucket, and this morning I remembered my mother’s words, so it was somewhat bemusing that even my bank sent out their ‘thank-you.’ And I say that while sharing and giving is good for the soul, I can definitely get used to receiving!